Today feels like a good day to get back on here and write something. It’s gray, cloudy, and rainy outside, so i’ll be staying indoors today. I won’t complain though because the past week has been absolutely AH-MAZING weather and sunshine-wise! Plus, the rain is good for us, we need it for the green grass and trees!
So I’d like to dig deep into my personality today. I may have mentioned this before, but I’d like you to know that I am an introvert, and totally shy. Yes, SHY. I always thought this was something I’d overcome in my adult years, but some days, I actually think it’s gotten worse. So YES, I’m an adult in her mid-twenties that is still shy.
I don’t really like the word shy, because when I think of a shy person, I think of a small child. So with that being said, I’m going to list the qualities that come with me being shy and maybe that way, you’ll understand me a little more.
- I am reserved. Basically, this just means that I’m quiet and relaxed most of the time. I’ve been told that, “you’re so reserved,” many of times. I actually don’t know if it’s a good or bad thing, but whatever, I just smile and agree.
- I am quiet. Yep, I’m a great listener. I listen lots, and talk little, UNLESS, you’re talking one-on-one to me and especially if it’s about something I’m passionate about.
- I can be socially awkward. When I say this, I don’t mean that I have a hard time communicating in public with the rest of the world, but I’m talking about placing me in a large social gathering, next to people I don’t know, and expecting me to make small-talk. I can’t do it! I can NEVER think of one word to say and so I turn really quiet. It can be SO awkward! It’s funny though, because although I’m socially awkward, I have no problem at work and going into a patients room, introducing myself, and striking up a conversation! I think I’m just different at work because it’s a caregiver-patient sort of thing, and they’re there for a reason, or something. Does that make sense?
- I am a nervous person. Literally though. I am nervous about everything! I’ve always been nervous about participating in certain activities, going certain places, talking to certain people, and so on.
- I am a blusher. THIS IS THE WORST QUALITY ABOUT MYSELF. I have always been a blusher and I hate it. I’ll blush at the worst times, even when I don’t feel embarrassed, but then it’ll make me embarrassed BECAUSE I can feel myself blushing, and so on. It’s really annoying.
- I can be so indecisive. I add this one, because I truly do believe that the reason I am so indecisive, is because I worry so often about my decisions. I worry about if it’s a dumb decision, if somebody won’t like that decision, if I will end up with a bad decision, and so on. You get the idea…
- I can be insecure. Ok, so this is also one of my worst qualities. I am insecure with myself and so it’s lowers my confidence big time. I struggled a LOT with this as a teenager and although I have gotten better about it as an adult, it’s still there and can be hard to overcome.
Well there you go, there are all the qualities that come with being a shy introvert. They are not my best qualities, but they’re who I am. That’s why I am not afraid to talk about them and to admit that I am this person.
I will say though, that having these qualities truly can be hard sometimes! Being shy can hold a person back from so many life opportunities.
There have been to many moments to count where my shyness has held me back in life, some such as these listed below.
- Wanting so badly to participate in fun group activities but not because I am too embarrassed or nervous about it.
- Bursting with joy and energy but not being able to express it.
- Declining offers that sound so fun but again, holding back for reasons that make no sense.
- Wanting to ask a new friend to hang out, but being too nervous that it won’t go well
- Heck, making new friends is HARD!
- Making many of empty promises
- Wanting to speak up in groups about good ideas, opinions, or just simply a good story, but not because of being the center of attention
Anyway, so as a result of being shy, I often find myself sticking to myself and those close around me, those in my comfort zone such as my family, my husband, and my few close friends. It’s very hard as an introvert to go out of your comfort zone! I DO do it occasionally and am always quite proud of myself in the end, but I wish I would do it more often.
So my goal as a shy introvert in her mid-twenties, is to just keep pushing through those qualities that fight to hold me back from so much. As a nursing student and nursing assistant in a busy hospital, I do challenge myself every day. I am good at what I do, and will not let my shyness get in the way of my career.
Enough about my faults though! As I reflect back on my shyness, I realize it does in some occasions, bring out my best attributes such as…
- My independence
- Being laid-back
- Being easy-going
- My great listening skills
- My compassion (actions more than words)
- My modesty
- My mannerisms
I won’t go on to explain each quality here, but you get the idea! Being shy isn’t all that bad. It definitely has SOME positive attributes. But like I said, it is a constant life-long challenge. It’s something that I’ll always have to try an over-come. It’s a daily battle. However, with this daily battle, if I DO over-come something, big or small, it feels very rewarding, and THAT, is key. Small things come as big rewards.
Anyway, if you’re anything like me, you can probably relate, or at least understand. If you’re the total opposite, then I salute you! I find you strong, brave, and admirable. Keep doing what you do.
I suppose I should now wrap this up, and thank everybody for reading! Being shy is an intimate part of my life, and opening up isn’t always all that easy. Like I said however, verbally socializing can be hard, so writing everything down is a lot easier (in this case, typing). So again, thanks for reading, and have a wonderful day everybody!