Love Before Marriage

If you read my profile, you saw that I am married. I’ve been married to my husband for just over a year. We dated for four years before tying the knot. Back then, on that cold, wintry night I had no idea that I would eventually marry that kind, handsome stranger. After that night, I thought about him on occasion and wondered if I would ever run into him again. Low and behold, I moved into that same apartment building a month or so later. Now, before you start raising assumptions, no, I did not purposely move into the building so that I could bump into him again. I was living at home with my parents after recently moving back to MN from AZ. One morning, my mom told me about an apartment for rent in town that was something I could actually afford on my low salary at the time. When she told me the address, I didn’t recognize the location but I agreed to go with her and check it out. Now when we arrived, I suddenly realized where we were and being the shy, introverted individual that I am, was immediately embarrassed and appalled with the idea of moving in and bumping into him. Obviously, worries and irrational thoughts raced through my mind. I thought to myself that he would probably assume I was stalking him and would be weirded out. Anyway, with my mom pushing me to move in (she clearly wanted me out of the house), I did. It was a while before I bumped into him and when I did, I’d say hi, and run away as fast as possible. I always got such a nervous, flustered feeling when I was around him. My heart would race and I never had a single word to say. I avoided him at all costs. It was later then, that I realized my cousin coming around the building. Turns out, he was friends with him. At this point, I had also finally admitted to my best friends that I was interested in this quiet, handsome neighbor of mine. I would talk briefly to my cousin and bring up my husbands name to him. I would throw out hints that I was interested. When my husband moved out the apartment, was when I dared to reach out to him. I knew then, that if he denied my friend request on Facebook or didn’t message me back, I wouldn’t be humiliated by running into him at the apartment. So, I messaged him and he responded. Nerdy I know, that I added him on Facebook and messaged him through there but that’s the kind of girl I was. I had to get his number somehow! I also finally dared to tell my cousin that I was into my husband so that he could relay the message. He played a small part in pushing us together! I finally got his number and after texting back and fourth for a while, we agreed on a time to hang out at his place. I was so incredibly nervous that night. I remember driving across town, my mind and heart racing. That night, we got past the initial awkward greeting and talked, got to know each other, and watched a movie. It was a typical, slightly awkward first date. However, when the night was over, I left smiling. I liked him. I liked who he was, I liked what he liked, and I knew that he was one of the good guys, one I wanted to be with.

After that night, we continued to text back and fourth, went on a couple more dates, and then one night, he came over to my apartment which was the first time he asked me out. Yes, I said that right, that was the first time. We were sitting at my kitchen table when he nervously asked me out and being the awkward person that I am, I got so nervous and flustered that even though, I knew what he was asking and that obviously I wanted to go out with him, I completely changed the subject! I avoided the topic the rest of the night. Can you imagine how he felt? The next day, I had felt so bad and so dumb that I told him to come over and ask me again. With that being said and asked, April 20th marked the day we started dating. It was new, exciting, and different. I was dating a man seven years older than I was but I was so in love with everything about him. We had so much fun together. We watched many movies together, played darts out in the garage until the sun came up, went to dinners and adventures in the cities, and after only 10 months, we agreed to move in together. Not in the small home town we resided in, but in the city. His job was in the suburbs so at that point, he had a long commute and wanted to be closer. I too, had been wanting to move to the city where I could find a better job and go to college somewhere. I fell in love with the city and even more in love with my now husband. We had so much fun together and he quickly became not only my boyfriend, but my best friend. We enjoyed going into the city of Minneapolis, watching Twins games in the summer and football in the fall, finding new bars to enjoy drinks and play darts at, and just spending quality time together. We learned so much about each other, saw each other at our worst and best moments, and grew stronger and closer together. We weren’t the perfect couple but we were everything we needed to be for each other. We made each other happy, accepted each others differences, and imagined a life together forever.

One cold, December night, after three years of dating, he finally asked me to marry him. I was beyond excited and so ready to take this next step. We had a nice dinner in Minneapolis and took a chilly evening walk to the Stone Arch bridge where he got down on one knee and asked me to spend the rest of my life with him. It was the perfect night! Obviously I said yes, I couldn’t wait to marry my best friend.


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